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Trying new things

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I play 5 minute blitz games mostly, on my phone. I play the occasional 10 minutes rapid game on my computer. Just to change it up. I've been doing the daily puzzle more often, and I've been playing 7 day games, to think more about my moves. I'm trying to challenge myself. I lose more when I get out of my comfort zone.  I realized that I play to push off complications onto my opponent, and that doesn’t work with longer games. I like the lack of contemplation in speed games. There are too much complexity in the middle game. It did lead me to new openings and new awards. Some awards are participation awards.
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Draws

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There's the confidence to think you'll win, but then again choosing whether to accept a draw is a different confidence based on material, position and strategy. I play 1-10 games a day, usually more towards 2-4. I've won a lot of games by just being persistent and keep on going even if I lose my queen. I've lost a lot of games too, and I don't get too sore losing, but it does sting quite a lot, so the desire to win versus the desire to just play are in competition.  I like the psychology of juggling various strategies and ways of being in chess. I saw a post on r/Buddhism questioning whether a Buddhist should play chess: "I'm a Buddhist and I play chess. Should someone closer to the goal stop playing chess? I don't think you're close to the goal, so maybe worry when you get closer. Faking it till you make it? Well, if you want to quit chess, quit chess. I don't think that will make you enlightened, enlightenment is brought about by meditation, ...
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